I Hope He Buys You Flowers
by Illead
Summary: "And Gilbert knew one thing, and one thing alone: He had to let him live his life, and, perhaps, it was better that way. That night, he walked home in the rain." Reflection of Gilbert, thinking back on how his time with Matthew was negligent, how Matthew moved on for the better. Anti-PruCan. Pair is NedCan. Inunedo hints making it T. One-shot.


**AUTHOR'S NOTE**:

Hello! This is a songfic idea I wanted to write for a while now; and, yes, I am stalling my seven updates for remaining multi-chapter Fanfiction, but now I shall write this. Hope you enjoy and all that jazz… You know the deal. The song is "When I Was Your Man," by Bruno Mars; as well, I do not own _Hetalia_. Enjoy, enjoy… I hope I did this song justice. Not a big Bruno Mars fanatic, but the song is nice, and thus I write this Fanfiction. This is only a one-shot. I was going to make this a Franada, but then I remembered something. There hasn't been a good NedCan for a while… Mostly PruCan or AmeCan. AmeCan is good, as well is PruCan, but I wrote a Franada, well two now, a UsUk, and a RusCan by now. So, short story long, it is a NedCan, and I hope this is okay... Anti-PruCan, with Gilbert reflecting on how he treated Matthew but a main NedCan, mentioned quite often. If you want to see a particular Fanfiction in something, let me know.

Love and rainbows,

~Illead

_End of note._

**I Hope He Buys You Flowers**

_Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now  
Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same  
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down  
'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name_

Tonight, Gilbert was alone at the bar when _this _particular song started playing; Gilbert never even liked Bruno Mars, but he was mostly drunk, so it didn't matter. The song spoke to him, more about his guilt towards how Matthew relaxed than anything else. He liked being with Matthew, but work and his best friends, Antonio and Francis, got in the way. Francis was Matthew's cousin, and when he talked about how he was doing, it felt empty. Whatever he did, it had to be his fault anyway. And this song just wasn't helping his weariness any. Two months ago, three months after Matthew told him he wanted to be with someone else, Gilbert saw what just… It broke his heart. The man Matthew was laughing happily with. And he looked _happy_ again… In a way he felt mierable, but in a way he felt glad.

_It all just sounds like oooooh…  
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize  
That I should have bought you flowers  
And held your hand  
Should have gave you all my hours  
When I had the chance  
Take you to every party  
'Cause all you wanted to do was dance  
Now my baby's dancing  
But she's dancing with another man_

It was too much for the German, he realized, to see him so happy and carefree. He wanted to make a time machine. Go back in time, and make him happy again. Matthew, he found out, wasn't the quiet man he had thought he was. He was young, energetic, and had this passion Gilbert loved about him. When they were alone in the evenings, at first, they went to town with everything in the nights. But the nights became fewer, and Gilbert had this night job at a bar, and the days were Matthew's to work. He found Matthew worked in… Well, what did you call it? It was like a brothel, but he was the bouncer, and Gilbert didn't doubt he was good at keeping people out, or kicking them out, when need be. Mattie was always strong.

Every Friday, when Matthew was alone, Francis would always bring him roses, which made him smile. That only hurt him more, to know another man, his best friend and his boyfriend's cousin, made him happier; and he never could, with work "more important." Then there was Saturday, when his best friend, Ivan, took him to a party. If there was a party Ivan was invited to, he invited Matthew, who always went for the thrill of the party. Usually, Gilbert was okay with that. It was just Ivan, and even if Ivan kissed him, Matthew never kissed back, which meant all was right with the world.

That was nothing to worry about at the time, even if Gilbert should have seen the warning signs. Sundays, his sister Michelle took him to go dancing ballroom or a Waltz, or something like it. Michelle spoke French, and so did Francis. Matthew, of course, loved his family the most, even if they had their fights often. And on every time his precious Canadian cried, Alfred, his twin brother, held his hand through it all. Gilbert knew, and did nothing about it. Though… His lost love led to another man doing all this, giving his all for Matthew without needing to be ask. Gilbert drowned his second beer, asking for another. This new guy seemed better than he was, and perhaps, after all that time sharing the same bed and neglecting him, it was time he smiled again. Not that Gilbert could move on… He'd tried, and it failed.

_My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways  
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life  
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…  
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes_

Gilbert always knew he was selfish, but he wasn't always with Matthew. He used to give him flowers, his favorite Gilbert gave him were the cornflower, which looked like daisies but were smaller and more like a wildflower. Matthew always treasured them, and kissed him once they were in a vase. It made him smile even now, even if Mattie was gone and had moved on. Matthew was too sweet for him, Toni said, but he didn't care… Matthew was his everything for the first year and a half. They met in college, and the East German native found him being laughed at. He'd stood up for Matthew, and they were inoperable since. He cried everytime he recalled that… And if he forgot it, he may have forgotten everything. Matthew was always afraid of being forgotten. Mattie was strong, to leave his miserable treatment to the best man in the world. His dreams were full of that.

_It all just sounds like oooooh…  
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize  
That I should have bought you flowers  
And held your hand  
Should have gave you all my hours  
When I had the chance  
Take you to every party  
'Cause all you wanted to do was dance  
Now my baby's dancing  
But she's dancing with another man_

The days grew longer, the nights grew nonexistent, and he found that his time with Matthew seemed like a chore, which also should have told him to break it off. But he didn't… He stuck with it, and after Elizabeth said he was wrong to do that, he denied it. How was that wrong? Matthew could wait his lifetime for him he if had to, and he knew he wanted to. Even if he acted like a generally, stereotypical douche boyfriend, he took Matthew to parties and danced with him, held his hand throughout the party, and always let people see Matthew was loved. Unforgotten, accepted, and once people saw Gilbert, of all people, loved the shy Canadian, they stopped making fun of him. It was beyond nice to see him smile since he met him crying.

Minutes, moments, days, months… All those were spent with Mattie lovingly, until Gilbert quit his job as the intern for the newspaper company and took a night job. A clean night job, but it was bar work, and they shared an apartment, with one bed, by then. Mattie seemed tolerant of it, as long as he got the day with him. Then, Mattie was still job searching. America was a rough place to be for them, still in college for a while… And both financially paid for by their fathers. But once the college stopped, and they started working, that fantasy went out the window. Matthew was unhappy, and he knew it, but did nothing even at that point. Gilbert didn't care, and being young and stupid was never a good thing to be. It was then Matthew began to cry, to Gilbert's defense, unknown to anyone but Alfred.

_Although it hurts  
I'll be the first to say that I was wrong  
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late  
To try and apologize for my mistakes  
But I just want you to know_

He hardly spoke to Matthew now, and maybe it was better than way… They were sort-of friends, though Matthew only answered his text messages. Apparently, he was okay with being friends at a distance, for now. Maybe one day they could be good friends, though the German knew it was never be the same. Gilbert finished the third beer slowly, ordering a fourth. Luckily, his alcohol tolerance was high, or else he'd be drunk and passed out, on a perfectly good Saturday evening. It was seven in the morning, and work was Monday. He could beat the hangover on Sunday and be ready for work at the bar in the evenings… Everyone knew he was a drunk, but a healthy drunk. If that were possible, but his brother, Ludwig, was unhappy with his older brother.

Gilbert, Luddy claimed when his boyfriend, Feliciano, wasn't around, was a ridiculous man. Leave it to his stern brother to say that. His mind wasn't even foggy, it was by far too clear for the start of his fourth beer. Matthew always said he drank too much… a flaw, Matthew said. At the time, Gilbert saw nothing wrong with a beer or two (though six was more like it; and even then, Matthew dragged him home at midnight, beyond pissed and in a ranting rage). He often texted Matthew he was sorry… So far he never answered those texts. A work in progress with Matthew, who was hard to gain trust back after breaking it.

_I hope he buys you flowers  
I hope he holds your hand  
Give you all his hours  
When he has the chance  
Take you to every party  
'Cause I remember how much you loved to dance  
Do all the things I should have done  
When I was your man_

All the same, Gilbert saw Matthew laughing and smiling again, and it, in turn, made him happy. Matthew was always his everything, and no one could dare compare to this, he saw. The song was over now, and he drowned the fourth beer before paying the barkeep, leaving into the chill of the winter night. His eyes stayed downcast as he walked, and sighing, he looked up, seeing Matthew across the crosswalk. The Canadian was with his now-boyfriend, who he learned was Lars, and met Matthew when he went to Holland with his sister. Lars moved to America soon after, and since then, Matthew was dating him.

Two months ago, five if you included the three months prior to Matthew being single. Maybe a part of him wanted to have Matthew back… But the other part just wanted him to laugh, and be happy. To hear him give that pure, heart-melting laugh was enough, even from a distance, and the sun shined when Matthew smiled. Even in the rain. Gilbert saw that now, as Matthew turned the corner with Lars, going out of sight, Just as well he wasn't seen. Lars always held Matthew's hand, wasn't ashamed of him as Gilbert had when he had Matthew.

But it should have been him… Could have still been him if he didn't… Gilber sighed sadly. No, Matthew was not, and would never be, his again.. Not after what he did. But he hoped Lars was a good man and one day married him, to make his days constantly happy. All Gilbert wanted was his happiness, and if Lars made him happy… So was Gilbert. Matthew said Lars brought him tulips, sometimes bouquets and sometimes just individual flowers. And they made him smile, he could tell by the energy on the phone, which made Gilbert glad that he had his cousin and his boyfriend giving him that gift.

There would always be a Gilbert for every Matthew, he figured, and maybe he could find another Matthew once day. Not exactly perfect, of course, but somewhat akin to the first Matthew. He wanted a Matthew who, like the first Matthew, had a Francis, Michelle, Alfred, Ivan, and Antonio to make him happy. And there always had to be a Gilbert to befriend, naturally. That seemed to fit the equation, somehow making a cycle of friends and family. Gilbert rationalized that was what every Matthew of this world, and the others near it, needed.

Matthew danced with Michelle still, got flowers from Francis still, but his life was more life-like to him, Matthew said on a late-night weekend call; he said Lars and Michelle took him dancing, and on Sundays, all his friends from before and Lars went drinking together. All without Gilbert, of course, but that was okay, because this was Matthew. Lars even joined Ivan and Matthew to go out to a party, and dance the night away, though now Ivan only kissed his forehead, like a brother might do. Gilbert could see him lighting up at the attention of his friends and family. Matthew was no longer forgotten, and his fear of that subsided.

_Do all the things I should have done  
When I was your man_

And Gilbert knew one thing, and one thing alone: He had to let him live his life, and, perhaps, it was better that way. That night, he walked home in the rain.


End file.
